If you don't want to read this all atleast skip down to the part after suicid is murder ...

It’s sad that more and more teens are choosing suicide as an alternative. Although suicide may seem like a good way to loose everything one is sick of fighting about, it's not easy. All things pass in time, and so it will be with the problems that right now seem insurmountable.
When ones thoughts turn to suicide it’s not that they want to die, they just want to disappear. And dying seems easy.
Dying isn’t easy–Dying is permanent. No chance of the sun coming out tomorrow, no chance of ever finding the solution to the problem. No chance to find the person of you dreams and live happily ever after. No chance to travel, explore. And no chance to make a difference to the world, to change mankind, or womankind! Suicide means you forfit your right to make things different.
There are no winners when someone intentionally ends their live. You loose, and everyone who ever cared about you looses. It also means you taint everyone’s life that had anything to do with you, even thoughs that have no intention or desire to hurt.
Think of how you would feel if someone you know committed. Would you be able to stop thinking about your relationship with that person and wondering if you were responsible for their decision? How would you be able to stop yourself from feeling that in some way you cold have done something to help? Most people don’t deserve the anguish and guilt that comes along with knowing a person who has chosen to murder them self.

Don’t kid yourself–Suicide is murder.

--

I'm having a problem. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in Alberta and I don't want to be alone - again.
I'm no longer a blur of emotions; I can now feel them individually; guilt, depression, and anger.

Guilt: I shouldn't have said those words; I shouldn't have been so negative, and sarcastic.

Depression: I ruined another good thing, just like every other good thing that's ever happened.

Anger: I fucked up. I'm so effing stupid.

I want a quiet way out, but I don't necessarily want to die, but to be comforted -- by him.
I have a constant fear of being replaced. Will I be replaced by some one prettier, and better? Or will he tak me back after puting me through the twohorrible blocks that I put him through, with out even knowing.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I don't think he will ever change his mind. I also don't think that I will be able to change drastically enough to get him back.
I'm not going to kid myself though, I actually want him back.
--But how often do I get what I want?